I've been hoodwinked. Bamboozled. Led astray and misinformed by the rabid New York sports media. Since the collapse, I've been hearing about how this clubhouse has a Latin contingent that was hell bent on booting Willie Randolph, an African American, out the door. Article after article, column after column and on every WFAN radio show since September, has made a living spewing this Met "Latin Mafia" and its disdain for all things not Salsa, Merengue, Reggaeton or Bachata.

Last week I read in the Daily News that Tony Bernazard is the "Godfather" of the "Latin Mafia" and hand-picked Jerry Manuel to manage the Mets after Willie Randolph was fired. All over the radio and in print sports writers and personalities have been saying how the "Latin Mafia" finally had 'their guy' leading the team. By 'their guy' they meant Latin. I heard Joe Beningo and Evan Roberts mention that Manuel can reach these guys because he "speaks their language."

There's only one problem: Jerry Manuel is AFRICAN AMERICAN!!! Holy conspiracy buster Batman! So you mean to tell me that the "Godfather" Bernazard and his "Latin Mafia" subverted one African American in favor of another? Adam Rubin of the Daily News wrote today that Manuel is the "second African-American baseball manager in New York sports history." So I did a little research after being knocked for a loop and found out that Manuel and Ken Williams formed the first African American GM/Manager tandem in baseball history.

This clearly means that the "Latin Mafia" and the "Godfather" aren't all Salsa all the time as has been reported. I must admit I bought into the media swirl. Does this mean that Willie Randolph wasn't unfairly booted and undermined by Bernazard? no. However, it does mean that you don't have to be Latin to gain the trust of the players on the Mets and you don't have to be Latin to speak their language.

Some of the coverage of this team is overblown, especially the "Latins Only" club and I hope that Met fans drop this issue for good. The media left out the fact that Manuel is Black just so they could string out the "Latin Mafia" storyline as long as possible or they just looked at his last name and made a distinction based on that alone. There is a Mets vs. the World vibe right now and I hope the team embraces that energy.

I am firmly behind Jerry Manuel, not because he's Black but because he's a gangsta! 

I had hoped to channel Mike Lupica or Joel Sherman with my first contribution to the Metwork, however, the news of perhaps the most bungled firing in New York baseball history forces me to simply rant.

Is there anyone with any soul running the Mets? This team that aspires to be baseball royalty, constantly displays a mind-boggling lack of direction and worse, a lack of integrity and heart.

We desire to watch the Mets play with fire and heart and integrity and when they don't we boo and rant and rave because that's what fans do. We've wondered where the spark of the 2006 Mets had gone and who was to blame. Was it Willie's laid back style, was it Minaya and his desire to load the team with every player taking arthritic medication? The firing of Randolph has shed some light on what is truly wrong with Mets.

The very top of the Met organization is replete with gutless, heartless, soulless decision makers that continue to embarrass the fans and themselves. A Met source leaked to the press this weekend that Pitching Coach Rick Peterson, Hitting Coach Howard Johnson and First Base Coach Tom Nieto would be fired before the team left for Anaheim, California. Omar Minaya denied that and the team left New York, coaching staff intact. Randolph does the pre-game press, manages the game, wins the game, does post-game press, takes a bus to the team hotel 2 hours after the game. In the hotel lobby Randolph is told to meet Minaya in Minaya's hotel room, not in a conference room, where he is fired by Minaya. The slime doesn't end there.

Longtime DailyNews Columnist Bill Madden appears this morning on ESPN's Mike and Mike radio show and reveals some interesting information. Madden stated that Fred Wilpon felt that Willie fleeced him during contract negotiations after the 2006 season. Madden goes on to say that Minaya had effectively squashed any firings this weekend in meetings with Ownership only to be dispatched Sunday night to fire Randolph. Madden then says that Tony "the Knife" Bernazard is the "godfather to the Latin players" and has built a relationship with Jeff Wilpon that is clearly growing in strength. Madden gives the impression that Bernazard leaked the names being discussed and fast tracked Willie Randolph's firing by lobbying Ownership to do so behind Minaya's back.

This may or may not be true but Madden is a respected Columnist with solid sources. The key here is that there is a much deeper break down in the Mets front office than there is on the field. You can't ask a team to play hard with integrity and honor when there is an underhanded fight for control going on in front of those players. You are what your leaders are in every aspect of life and baseball is no different.

The Mets may have needed a change but the way they went about that change is gutless. In making this change they have shown a slim that used to be associated with that team in the Bronx. Much worse than that is the impending battle for control between Minaya and Tony "the Knife" Bernazard.

Madden gave this warning to Minaya, "watch your back." I have a better warning for him, watch your soul.

 

In honor of Lost finally returning to my life last Thursday (okay, I'm a few days behind reality), and the Mets finally finding a way to get a couple of hits in a row in the 4th inning of yesterday's game against the Braves, here are some other people and things who have been lost and/or found....

1.  LOST:  My computer.  The bastards at HP have had this thing for the past 3 weeks and my loaner barely does word processing.  Hence, the dearth of posts.

2.  LOST:   Jose Reyes.  Last April Reyes hit .356 with 17 stolen bases and 26 runs.  So far, he's hitting .237 with 5 stolen bases and 13 runs.  I haven't been able to catch any games lately due to Lost item #1, but from what I have read it seems like he can't get the ball out of the infield.  Can't someone make up some more handshakes with the guy?  I know they're all probably sick of the tens of handshakes they have to memorize for Jose, but it's worth it.  (Though, to be fair, at least Reyes isn't as bad as Troy Tulowitzki, who's hitting a mere .157... that's basically a county away from the wrong side of the Mendoza line.)

3.  LOST:  John McCain's priorities.  Actually, wait, can you lose something you've never had?? (Sorry, I know I shouldn't talk about politics, but I just...can't... resist.)

4.  FOUND:  Carlos Delgado (hopefully).  Knocking two out of the park against John Smoltz is a great way to silence your critics, Carlos. And for the record, this whole "curtain call controversy" is beyond me.  If you're going to boo a player for a month straight, don't expect him to jump up and pound his fist in the air when you finally stop.  Carlos Delgado is not Armando Benitez, Braden Looper, or Mo Vaughn - he's a leader (see:  him talking to Heilman in the dugout on Saturday), and he gives a shit about the team.  End of rant.

5.  LOST:  My fellow Metworkers and likely the readership of this blog.

6.  LOST:  Ramon Castro.  No, really, where is he? Don't get me wrong, Raul Casanova had a great game yesterday, but I'm genuinely concerned for Ramon's well-being. Come back, Ramon, I miss hearing the Imperial Death March.  The last I heard of him, he was in "extended spring training" working on his hamstring, but I'm beginning to think that "extended spring training" is on the same farm that my parents brought my old dog Sam when I was 6. 

7.  FOUND:  A little less hatred for Chipper Jones after reading this.  Larry said if he could take back one comment he made in his entire career, it would be saying that the Mets fans could go ahead and put on their Yankee gear.  Thanks, Chip!  We appreciate your apology 9 years later.  I do find it surprising, however, that Larry wouldn't take back whatever comment he said that got that Hooters waitress to bang him.  I feel like that's probably had a bigger impact on his life than talking smack about Mets fans, but who am I to judge?

(Yes, I will continue to bring up the Hooters-waitress-adultery-thing every time I talk about Larry Jones both on the Internet and in real life because it's such a hilarious cliche.  I guarantee you I can fit it into every conversation in which Chipper comes up.  Seriously, try me.)

Bill Murray showed up to Dolphin Stadium this week to help his hapless (but division-leading) Cubs rally against the even-more-hapless Marlins.  Murray, a Chicagoland native and Second City alum, is perhaps the Cubbies' most famous fan.  He arrived in the Windy City to ignite a spark in his perennial underdogs (read:  usually pretty bad), hoping to push them over the top in their race against the Brew Crew in the Central.

Okay, so the Cubs got swept away by the Fish, and now the Marlins are coming to Flushing.  But that's HARDLY THE POINT.  The fact is that here is somebody who knows they can be the face of a franchise's fanbase to keep optimism alive, and act as a reminder that a pennant remains within reach -- and also that the first Meatballs movie was really awesome.

 
Murray pals around with Craig Monroe.  

My question is:  where's Jerry?  Where's Jon?  Where's... jeez, I don't know, Tim Robbins or Matthew Fucking Broderick?

The Mets are known for having a passionate fanbase, one that makes the Mets one of the most beloved franchises in all of sports.  But at a time when a prominent face can really step forward to cheer for their team and show a little moxie, they're nowhere to be seen.  Is it possible they're as scared as Reyes looked sitting in the dugout last night?  Are they ashamed to not be fans of that other team north of the Harlem River Drive?

It was just 11 months ago that Jon Stewart was on the Shea mound, throwing out the first pitch during the NLCS.  And it's been a quite while since Seinfeld made one of his routine appearances on WFAN with Steve Somers.  I guess there's not much to talk about when the team seems to have thrown in the towel back at Citizens Bank.

C'mon, "Jerry from Queens!"  C'mon, Jon!  C'mon, sigh... Julia Stiles?

The last thing we need is a collective abandonment of the team we love.  I'll be at Shea tonight doing my little ole' best to rally the troops in section 30 of the mezz.  I'd love to see the same thing happening down behind the plate, because we could really use our own Moment of Zen right about now.

Note:  Many thanks to the powers that be.  I'm very excited to join the little family here at The Metwork, and look forward to a hopefully even more exciting October.

Things I did to make the Mets start losing.

1.  After the Phillies' sweep and Jets' horribly close loss on Sunday, I said to myself "well, this has got to be the worst sports three days of my life."  Baseball gods laughed at me and made it four. 

2.  Last week, I sent out an email inviting friends to the game on Wednesday and included the line "It's kind of a long shot, but if the Mets sweep the Phillies and the Nats, they could possibly clinch the division in DC, thus making me the happiest girl this side of "My Super Sweet Sixteen.""  First and last time I reference an MTV reality show in an email.  I swear.

3.  Before the start of he season, I bet with two Braves fans on the winner of the division.  If the Mets win, they each were to buy me a case of beer.  If the Braves won, I was to buy them each a case of beer.  If the Phillies won, we were all to off ourselves in a glorious suicide pact that would make the end of Romeo and Juliet seem trite.  I saw one of the aforementioned Braves fans this past week and told him my preferred beer -- Sam Adams Utopias.  He offered up Beast.  We compromised on PBR.  I must be getting punished for compromising my ideals.  Never again.  Kucinich in 2008, baby!!!

I'm really sorry guys.  I take full responsibility for having the audacity to be optimistic.  It won't happen again.  EVER.

I don't know what karmic debit has compelled me to author a post in defense of Britney Spears, but, alas, here I am.

Subsequent to her performance on this past weekend's MTV Video Music Awards, the aforementioned Ms. Spears has been consistently ripped apart not so much for her lackluster performance as she has been for her purported "fat" physique. 

Are you are fuc#in' kiddin' me? 

Let me begin by saying that 99% of the heterosexual male population, despite their taunts, would still hit Britney harder than a Hummer going into a brick wall if given the opportunity.  And in this truth lies the root of why so many guys have jumped on the delusional "she's fat" bandwagon.  Put it to you this way--the guy in your office who makes the most Britney Spears fat jokes is without a doubt the guy who has rubbed out more Britney masturbation fantasies than the rest of the office combined.  By making fat jokes he creates the illusion that she isn't an unattainable fantasy, but rather someone who's actually in his league.  Yeah, dream on Dave.

But perhaps the most disturbing part of all this is the effect it's going to have on the actual MTV audience--which is, of course, primarily composed of celebrity obsessed teenage girls.  Even in her current state, Britney Spears sports a body that is unattainable by 80% of the human population.  Unlike your typical teenage girl who has a real life, has to go to school, eat what mom cooks for her, doesn't have a personal trainer or easy access to pharmaceutical or surgical assistance, Britney Spears enjoys a literal menagerie of handlers whose job it is to make sure she looks good.   And this is who your teenage sister or daughter is going to be comparing herself to?   Better check your insurance policy and make sure it covers eating disorders.

And if you happen to be a woman whose jumped on the Britney is fat bandwagon--well, wow.  Just wow.  Honey, we're gonna catch Osama Bin Laden before the day you'll be able to fit your back-fat into Britney's VMA outfit.   I mean, please--give it a rest.

And Britney, if you're reading this--call me.

Last night's edition of Geico Sports Night featured a Stephon Marbury soundbite that was either the eptiome of stupidity and ignorance or the epitome of denial and blind loyalty. 

When asked by a reporter for his reaction to Michael Vick's pending guilty plea to federal dog-fighting charges, Marbury proceeded to plead Vick's case with one of the most asinine responses one could ever hope to hear.

Specifically, Marbury stated:


I'm not a big fan of hunting, but the last time I checked hunters weren't drowning, electrocuting and otherwise torturing deers before shooting them.  And how exactly does one "fall into" into being a ringleader of an interstate dog-fighting enterprise?

Stephon, do us a favor..go get yourself another tattoo before you say something else incredibly stupid.

1.  The NLCS.  That’s all I’ll say on that.

2.  Jeffy is from Oklahoma.  Also from Oklahoma?  Bobby Cox and Braden Looper.  Just saying.

3.  His nickname is “Soup.”  Can’t you see him pulling a George Costanza, ordering soup at a restaurant with some of his friends, and looking around being like “Well, I’m just a soup kind of guy.  Love that Soup.  It even sounds like the beginning of my last name!  You might as well call me Soup!” And then after years and years (and after he got that $42 million pay day), his friends finally relent just to shut him up about it?  Right?

4.  During the 2006 World Series, Suppan appeared in a remarkably dishonest television ad encouraging Missouri citizens to vote against a state amendment that would allow stem cell research that is legal under federal law.  Jeff Suppan clearly hates Michael J. Fox, Muhammad Ali, and, you know, curing diseases. 

5.  He owns a restaurant in LA called “Soup’s Grill,” which serves, according to Wikipedia, “Philly cuisine, including cheesesteaks and dressed fries.”  Way to contribute to the national obesity problem, Jeff.  You’re a real American hero. 

Jose Canseco is planning to write a sequel to his revealing literary debut, “Juiced”.  In this new book, Jose Canseco claims that he has “stuff” on Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriguez.  Through a source who will remain private, The Metwork was able to acquire the secret list of the “Top 10 Things That Jose Canseco Will Reveal About A-Rod in His New Book”:

10. A-Rod needs to opt out of his Yankee contract because he recently converted his first $250 million to singles at the strip club so that he could "make it rain on them hoes"

9. He actually was the one who came up with the idea to cut to black in the "Sopranos" finale

8. He feels hurt that commissioner Bud Selig has not committed whether he will be in attendance when he hits his 500^th career HR. 

7. The truth about Mrs. A-Rod’s obscenity laced shirt – She can’t read

6. A-Rod has daily conversations with his Derek Jeter “Fat Head”

5. On the day Joe Torre dropped him to 8^th in the batting order, he received a text message from Rey Ordonez reading “Real Men do it 8^th”

4. Has several laptops set up to flood the polls to win ESPN’s “Who’s NOW?” competition

3. Didn’t sign with the New York Mets in 2000 because he was uncomfortable with the rugged good looks of the “Silver Fox”, Steve Philips

2. He is secretly the head of the northeast’s largest dog-fighting circuit

1. Constantly makes phone calls suggesting ridiculous trade proposals to WFAN using the pseudonym “Steve from Staten Island”

I don't usually pay attention to pop-up advertisements, but leave it to the U.S. Military to snap me out of my cyber-surfing haze and actually notice one of these things.

The pop-up is presented as an IM conversation between two young men, and includes the following exchange:

Mike-el-angelo19:  What R you doing this summer?
Slackwhacker77:  Mowing yards again.  LOL.
Mike-el-angelo19: You should reconsider Navy.  Got my college paid for.

Okay, so let me get this straight...  We've got one kid trying to convince another kid to stop mowing lawns and and ship off to the Persian Gulf?  Yeah, that sounds like a plan.  If there's one thing that beats mowing lawns it's being shot at--or, better yet, living on a submarine.

And "Slackwhacker"???  That's the name they came up with for the guy they're trying to recruit?  What is this... Stripes?   Just what the Navy needs, a proud chronic masturbator.

And perhaps the funniest aspect of all has to be the line "You should reconsider Navy."  The ad is actually presupposing that a guy like Slackwhacker already had the good sense to reject the idea of enlisting on the first go round.   

You know the military is getting desperate when they have to take a second pass at the Slackwhacker.

It’s been an up and down season up until this point in time, but there’s still plenty to be enthusiastic about for the Mets in the 2nd half.  With that in mind, I thought now would be the right time to announce the “Met Fan’s Top 10 Reasons to be Excited in the 2nd Half”.




   






Here's to continued success in the second half and may nobody get the sudden urge for cuban food at 1:30 in the morning!