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Main Page  »  News
View Article  Breaking News: Met Owner Fred Wilpon Talks

Mets Owner Fred Wilpon finally spoke on the Willie Randolph firing and Omar Minaya's current status as General Manager.

An excerpt from the Associated Press article:

Mets owner Fred Wilpon knew on Sunday that Willie Randolph would be fired on Monday, after flying to the West Coast to manage one more game.

Wilpon said today GM Omar Minaya made the initial decision to fire Randolph after the doubleheader split against Texas at Shea Stadium. After speaking with ownership, Minaya made the final call Monday.

Wilpon, asked if he regretted sending Randolph to California, "You can always look over your shoulder and think things like that, but the intent here clearly was to respect Willie. To do it in person. It's never easy to fire anybody. Omar took a lot of time. We took a lot of time listening to him and thinking about it. He wanted to respect Willie, and that's what he did."

Wilpon praised Randolph's performance as manager but agreed with Minaya's decision to replace him.

"It's all a matter of performance," Wilpon said, "Recognize, Omar gave Willie a chance to be in this position. He had never been a manager in the major leagues or minor leagues. I think Willie did a good job. The results of the last say 14 months were not up to what we thought it had to be."

View Article  Breaking News: Willie Randolph Speaks on Firing

In an interview with William C. Rhoden of the New York Times, Willie Randolph commented on his firing and specifically, the timing of his firing:

On Sunday, Randolph said, he asked Minaya to pull the trigger if that’s what he had in mind. “I actually asked him,” Randolph said, “I said: ‘Omar, do this now. If you’re going to do this, do this now. I know you’ve got a lot of pressure on you, but if I’m not the guy to lead this team, then don’t let me get on this plane.’ I did say that to him.”

Asked if he believed Omar Minaya made the decision to fire him, Randolph questioned that and said:

“I have my doubts. Let’s just leave it at that. I have my doubts.”

Randolph on his reaction to his firing said:

“I didn’t see this coming,” Randolph said. “When I spoke to Omar the day before I knew there might be some changes, but I got the feeling I was safe. I thought that maybe to the Yankees series or at least to the All-Star break.”

It sure looks like this isn't going to go away anytime soon. The firing of Randolph could possibly cause more damage to this team than the collapse of last season. Everyone knows that Randolph and Minaya are very close. Minaya actually said he loved Randolph. How did a post-game conversation where Randolph asked to be fired, only to be given the impression he had some time to right the ship, then fired a day later.

There is now a cloud hanging over the top of this organization. The media has picked up on the fact that Randolph was undermined by Bernazard and now Minaya could be too.

You get the feeling that Randolph was just the tip of the ice berg. If the Mets don't start winning a lot of games, beat writers will make it their business to get the behind the scenes drama on the front page daily.

Here's hoping the team starts winning because with the collapse of 2007, the Ryan Church debacle, and Reyes pouting like a girl on the field, what would the Mets become if the fallout gets any worse?

View Article  Breaking News: Orioles Fire Mazzone

The Baltimore Orioles have parted ways with Leo Mazzone after 2 years.  Because it appears he was the problem.

Anyone else thinking what I'm thinking?

View Article  MLB: Mitchell Report To Name Names

According to ESPN the Mitchell Report will be released between October 31st and the end of the year.  It will list "well known" players.  "This is going to be enormous ... it's going to be a huge story when these names come out."

Well this is what every news agency in the world has been waiting for.  I'm going to be honest, I'm seriously scared that Mike Piazza is going to wind up on this list....which would just be terrible.

View Article  News: Al Gore Awarded Nobel Peace Prize
Former Vice President Al Gore and the United Nations' Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change won the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize on Friday for their work to raise awareness about global warming.

Now that Gore has his Nobel Peace Prize that leaves only "blowj@b from Angelina Jolie" and "my very own rocketship" on his list of unreasonable demands to jump into the 2008 presidential race.
View Article  News: Real News Roundup For October 12

Coulter: We want 'Jews to be perfected'

I'm not even going to attempt to make this one funny

Reports: CIA Investigator investigated

And the winner for funniest headline ever goes to...

Christina Aguilera Set Up Her Baby Registry

We're hoping for a boy

The Rockies Won

They still play baseball in the NL?

View Article  News: Puprose of Appendix Believed Found
CNN is reporting that some scientists think they have figured out the real job of the troublesome and seemingly useless appendix.  Click here to read about their conclusion...

A thousand year old mystery solved and somehow I'm still not quite consoled over the Mets 2007 season.
View Article  News: Girl Swims A Mile With Bound Hands, Feet
CNN reports that a girl swam more than a mile in the Xiang River on Tuesday, traveling with the current. The girl swam by moving like a dolphin and would sometimes paddle with her bound hands.

Before I realized that this was something some girl in China did willingly, all I could think was, "What is it going to take for Brett Myers' girlfriend to say enough is enough?"



View Article  Breaking News: Isiah Thomas Found Guilty of Harassment
According to CNN, a jury ruled Tuesday that New York Knicks coach Isiah Thomas sexually harassed a former top team executive, subjecting her to unwanted advances and a barrage of verbal insults, but also ruled he does not have to pay punitive damages.

In another instance of remarkably poor judgment, immediately after the verdict was read Isiah Thomas turned to the most attractive woman in the jury pool and remarked, "I suppose a blowj@b is completely out of the question?"
View Article  News: Real News Roundup - Sunday, September 30th
Gingrich Won't Run in 2008
Letterman, Leno, O'Brien, Kimmel Mourn

Five Commonly Misdiagnosed Diseases
If you're a hypochondriac like me, this article should send you into a nice little tailspin

Man in Tom Cruise Extortion Case Found Dead
Metwork officially adopts "No-Scientology Jokes' policy

Iran Labels CIA 'Terrorist Organization'
First salvo in Ahmadinejad's new "I know you are but what am I?" propaganda campaign



View Article  News: Real-ish News Roundup - Saturday, September 29th
Report: Extremely Cold Day in Hell

Pigs Seen Flying Over Manhattan

Government Officials:  Sky Indeed Falling
View Article  News: Real News Roundup - Wednesday, September 26th
Batman Crewmember Killed
Oddly enough, he was not killed by a giant razor being slowly lowered on a pendulum

Two Female Ninjas Rob PA Gas Station
Yeah boss, so these two smokin' hot ninjas busted in here and stole all the cash.  No, I'm not high.  What do you mean I'm fired?

Prince Fielder Youngest to Hit 50 Home Runs
All of a sudden I'm not so confident about David Wright's MVP chances

Iran Leader Says Some More Crazy Sh@t
View Article  News: Real News Roundup -- Tuesday, September 25th
Ahmadinejad:  No Gays in Iran
Who do you think decorated your palace my brother?

55 Labs Raided in Huge Steroid Probe
Insert your own Barry Bonds gag here ----> x

Indiana Couple Names Boy "Wrigley Fields"
Let the schoolyard beatings commence in 3, 2, 1....

Die Hard Director Sentenced to Prison
Hopefully he's released before they let Len Weisman direct another Die Hard sequel
View Article  News: Real News Roundup -- Monday, September 24th
Union Sets Strike Deadline at General Motors
World cries out, "But who will make our gigantic, shit@y, overpriced, gas-guzzling, ozone destroying cars?"

Israelis Seize Nuke Material During Syrian Raid

Too scary for perfunctory sarcastic remark.

Man Drowns in Vat of Sulfuric Acid
Did he really have enough time to drown?

Mime Legend Marcel Marceau Dies
Not surprisingly, no last words.  Superfluous moment of silence expected tomorrow.



View Article  News: Real News Roundup -- Sunday, September 24th
U.N. Considers Greater Iraqi Presence
The U.N.'s slogan should be "a day late and a dollar short..."

It's a Girl for Salma Hayek and Billionaire Boyfriend
For a billion dollars, you too can impregnate your favorite celebrity

Britney Spears Faces Hit and Run Charge
Britney is available for decidedly less than a billion.  Some Funyuns and a can of Mellow Yellow, perhaps?

New Yorker Wins Burrito Eating Championship
Also expected to win projectile diarrhea shooting contest later today
View Article  News: Real News Roundup -- Saturday, September 22nd
Bonds, Giants Parting Ways
His evil would fit in nicely in the Bronx

Porn Star Accused of Sorority House Rape
Too easy, pass

Castro Looks Healthy in New Video
And when we say "healthy", we mean "barely clinging to life"

George Clooney Recovering From New Jersey Motorcycle Accident
Don't worry ladies, the face and package were unscathed

View Article  News: Real News Roundup -- Thursday, September 20th
Bonds Calls Record Home Run Ball Buyer "Idiot"
Takes one to know one I suppose...

Iran Leader Banned From Ground Zero
I have a feeling he wouldn't be too welcome at Katz's Deli either

NASA Accepting Astronaut Applications
Regular Joes excited at prospect of space travel, dying in catastrophic explosion

Car Plows Through Vegas Crowd
O.J.?
View Article  News: Real News Roundup --Monday September 17th
At Least 87 Killed in Thai Plane Crash

O.J. Simpson Arrested on Armed Robbery Charges
Apparently it's easier to get away with murder

Gates Rejects Greenspan Claim Iraq War is About Oil
Yeah, it's about weapons of mass destruction... I mean terrorism... I mean spreading democracy... I mean stabilizing the region...

Madonna:  I Am an Ambassador for Judaism
Madonna replaces an affable but ineffectual Kevin Youkilis as ceremonial Jewish figurehead




View Article  News: Real News Roundup -- Sunday, September 16th
Simpson: Casino Incident Was Overblown
Sort of like that time he killed his wife and her boyfriend

5,000 Evacuated as Acres Burn in California
If there's no Metwork tomorrow at least you'll know what happened

Iran: U.S. Seeks Scapegoat in Iraq
Sorry guys, we already have someone to blame.  His name is George W. Bush

Missing Girl's Family Plans Ad Blitz
Perhaps they should save their money for a few good lawyers instead

View Article  News: Real News Roundup -- Saturday, September 15th
Top General Admits Iraq War Mistakes
Still holding out on Bigfoot, Elvis, Easter Bunny & Scott Kazmir Trade

Giuliani Launches Full Frontal Assault on Clinton

Warning:  Headline, when read literally, may induce vomiting

Family to Harvest Dying Man's Sperm

A shame considering there are so many healthy Metwork readers who can't get their sperm harvested

Supermax Prison Opens Its Doors to the World
This and other stories in the latest edition of "Wow, This Sounds Like a Really Bad Idea" magazine

View Article  Breaking News: OJ to star in Ocean's 14

 OJ Simpson is being questioned for allegedly robbing a casino.

So let's think this out.  It kind of makes sense, I mean the guy got away with killing 2 people, robbing a casino should be easy.  All he'll have to do is show how the dollar bills don't fit in his back pocket.  And then he can write a book about how he 'would have' robbed the casino.

View Article  News: Real News Roundup -- Friday September 14
Oden Done For The Year
How much does it suck to be a Trailblazer fan?

Belichick Owes Me $500k
Seriously, I hate cheaters

5,700 Troops On Their Way Home
By Christmas?

Britney Spears On American Idol?
I Thought The Bad People Were Only On The First Show...

People Names Their Best Dressed
Mr. Met Snubbed Again
View Article  News: Real News Roundup -- Wednesday September 12th
Finally Some Good News for Kevin Everett

The Charlie Frye Era Lasted A Quarter And A Half
I'm sure he's real upset about it

Steffanie Tanner Is Pregnant
Is she even considered a celebrity anymore?

Kevin Federline is "Really into the acting thing"

Sorta like how I'm "really into the laughing at his hair cut thing"

Kathy Griffin Is Too Hot for TV
Now I know she isn't a celebrity
View Article  News: Real News Roundup --Tuesday September 11th
Buffalo TE Everett faces paralysis after collision. 

The Surge is Working!
Everything is great!  They were right all along!

Oh. Wait....
Except for the Iraqi civilians.

Russian Province Gets Set for "Conception Day."
In the US, we just call it prom night.

Brandi Gets Kicked Off "Rock of Love."
Huh? Not real news?!  But they're competing to date Brett Michaels.  Come on. 
View Article  News: Real News Roundup -- Monday, September 10th
Missing BYU Student's Body Found in Canyon

Democrats Debate on Spanish Language T.V.
I'd have something sarcastic and/or witty to offer, but I couldn't understand a fuc@kin word they were saying.

Lackluster Britney Spears Performance talk of VMA's
It's gotta hurt when CNN (and not Perez Hilton) calls you "embarrasingly out of shape."

Five Held After Whale Killed With a Machine Gun
Sleep well tonight Michael Vick.  You're no longer the biggest assh@ole in America.


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